I don’t know if you’re as obsessed with the Internet as I am, but I find myself spending a lot of my free time watching way too many YouTube videos. I’m subscribed mainly to beauty gurus on YouTube because, as many of you know, I love makeup and I love watching tutorials and testing out new products. However, I am also subscribed to a man by the name of Elliott Hulse, who posts videos talking about how to become the strongest version of yourself both mentally and physically. His videos are extremely motivational and I watch them daily to keep my spirits up. Anyway, as I was looking through some of his videos today, I found one that I think will be very beneficial to a lot of girls (and guys) on the topic of what constitutes “real beauty” and it made me question the people I’ve been with and the reasons why I exercise.
In this video, he makes a lot of good points that are worth repeating over and over in your head until you believe them, because every word is true. If you are with someone who tells you that you need to change the way you look, whether it be the way you apply your makeup, the clothes you wear, or even criticizes the extra skin that hangs off your back. You need to leave them. Plain and simple. No man or woman should criticize the person they are with. I may be wrong, but you are with that one person because you fell in love with their mind, their strength and their personality, right? Perhaps you’re compatible with them and you share the same interests and your families get along well. Although those traits are hard to find in another person, what’s even more difficult is to find a person who will completely accept who you are, despite your age, weight or complexion.
Hulse stresses that people fall in love with mental attributes but because of the society we live in, people easily become obsessed with the physical appearances.
The next part is the real kicker: if you’re with someone solely because you like how their body looks, then you don’t love them. You may love those physical attributes on that person, but you aren’t in love with someone until you can fall in love with their mind and accept each and every flaw and fall in love with those too.
There are far too many people who beat themselves up over what others may think of them. There are way too many people who spend hours and hours in the gym and punish themselves for wanting a milkshake and fries once in a while, and because of that, a lot of people walk around hating themselves. I used to be just like that, until I realized that what’s really beautiful and what will really last in a relationship, is a strong mind, a love for yourself and an acceptance of others. You won’t get anywhere if you spend your days continuously trying to change other people because they don’t live up to your idea of “beauty” or “perfection.” Learn to accept other people and other people will be more accepting of you. And if you spend your days wishing you were thinner or wishing you could turn back the clocks and not eat that whole burger, just stop. Please, get up from your computer, walk up to a mirror and realize how beautiful you really are. Stop wishing you didn’t have freckles, because freckles are so unique. The bags under your eyes make you look so strong and it shows that you care about your work, because obviously you spent a little too much time typing that essay last night, am I right? So, you don’t have rock hard, chiseled abs. So what? A lot of people don’t. The celebrity on the cover of the magazine you just bought doesn’t even look that way because it’s been edited so much I bet they can’t even recognize themselves, and I’m 99% positive that if you edited a photo of yourself into Photoshop, you would look just like them. But, you don’t need to go through all that trouble because you have something they don’t have. You have an inner beauty, you have an intelligence and a strength that outweighs all of the physical attributes created in Photoshop.
Stop comparing yourselves to others, quit wishing you looked like someone else, don’t hate yourself anymore, because I can assure you there is someone in the world who is dying to look just like you. You only get one life to live and you’re going to be in the same body for that lifetime, so you might as well get to like yourself, because what’s not to love?
Smile, you’re worth it.