What life looks like right now

Screen Shot 2015-03-29 at 6.07.43 PM

Hey guys, I was going to post my normal weekly goals this morning, but then I thought “wow, we haven’t sat down and had a talk about life in a while.” So that’s what I want to do today.

Life is kind of crazy, messy, and just all over the place as of late.

So last week, I got into a car accident, which was shocking in and of itself. Everyone was fine (except for my car), but that’s just a material thing. Because of that, I’ve been thinking about getting a new car. I’m driving my mom’s car right now, but I’ve been getting a lot more busy with work and my odd jobs (aside from my normal job, I have odd jobs like working at the gun store, I’m a buyer and I also do a lot of promotional work, and freelancing! Plus, I help my parents out with the kids — boy scouts, volleyball, oh my!). And I’m thinking about joining the local paddling club… So I kind of need a new car… Ya know?

On Tuesday, I have an appointment with a cosmetic dentist, which I’m actually super excited about. Not to toot my own horn, but I was born with perfect teeth (at least, I think so). They’re super straight and I’ve never had braces or anything like that. #blessed? The only thing I’ve ever done for my teeth is getting them professionally whitened, which is an amazing investment! But, I did have to get fillings in between my front teeth, which is the weirdest thing ever, but those are the cards I was dealt. Anyway, I got them filled a few years ago and over the years (and my unstoppable coffee addiction), the fillings got stained and left me with a really unflattering dark stain in between my teeth. Gross. So I’m going to get them professionally fixed. I’m not sure how it’s done, but I’m excited.

Wednesday is the big day. I’ve been getting scans, tests, MRIs, etc, and all those tests are leading up to Wednesday, which is when my doctor will know whether or not I’m finally going to be in remission. I don’t know what Wednesday has in store for me. I’ve been feeling on top of the world lately, no fevers, no pain, no nausea. I haven’t been having any symptoms at all. It’s like I’m not even sick. However, because of the illness that I have, there’s really no telling of which way this can go. I might not be feeling sick because I’m in remission, or my disease has just spread into other areas of my body and I’m just not feeling the symptoms yet. That’s why we’ve done tons and tons of tests so my doctors can be certain of what’s going on, and we prevent misdiagnoses, which has happened a few times before. Whichever way it goes, whatever news he gives me on Wednesday, I’m not necessarily ready to hear it, but as always, I’m willing and ready to fight. :)

It’s been about one week since I received my MateFit in the mail and started eating healthier and whatnot. I love it so far! If you haven’t read my post about it, it’s here. Anyway, I’ve been eating super clean (Oatmeal, yogurt, fruit, salads, protein shakes. No bread, sugar, coffee), and I’ve honestly never been so energized and happy in my life. I don’t get hunger pangs or cravings and wait for it……. I don’t even miss coffee. What? Yeah, I know. (Okay, maybe I miss it a little bit, but I’ve realized that I’m not dependent on it! I can function without it. Who would thought!)

This past weekend and the weekend prior, I’ve been helping my parents with some spring cleaning, which if you know anything about me, is my most favorite thing in the whole wide world. No sarcasm. I love cleaning. Anyway, I came across boxes of old photos of camping trips with my birth father, and it’s something that is really personal and something I don’t really talk about, but it got me thinking this past weekend. The last time I talked about my relationship with my birth father on this blog was over a year ago when him and I rekindled our relationship. Since then, we’ve lost touch because of various reasons and because of that, we haven’t spoken in a year. It’s a very touchy subject, but since I see you all as my major support group, opening up about it is very important to me. I never thought I would have an estranged parent, but I do. I just haven’t spent any time trying to deal with it, or cope with it. Is there coping involved when a parent goes astray? I don’t even know how to answer that. All I know is that it’s been a year of not speaking to my father, and honestly it hurts. I’m just not sure what hurts more: the fact that my father and I don’t have a relationship, or the fact that I still care while he doesn’t care at all.

To end on a brighter note, I’ve been absolutely loving my job! It’s really great and I’ve made a lot of new friends and learned a lot so far, it’s just really cool. And a lot of you have been asking me about my new job, and want to know what I do, where I work, etc., so if you’re interested in a post all about my work, then let me know!

Sorry I got a little heavy on you this morning, but sometimes you gotta get in your feelings, ya know?

Have a bangin’ Monday! (I love you guys, thank you to the moon and back for being the best support group, friends, lovers out there) <3 :)

Twitter Instagram Facebook Pinterest

Photos: Forests and baby photo polaroids

Good morning, and happy Sunday! I don’t know about you guys, but my weekend went by so quickly it’s like it didn’t even happen. But honestly, I’m ready and excited to get back to work. I’m so fortunate to have a job that I’m in love with! I digress, here are some photos from the past week. Enjoy!

FullSizeRender copy

Last Sunday, I went for a hike up in the mountains and I was really happy (can you tell?) This is probably one of my most favorite photos of myself because there’s so much movement, the feelings jump out of the photograph, and it’s just so raw and I when I look at it, I can sense the same emotions I was feeling when the photo was taken. I was frolicking, skipping, jumping around the woods out of pure joy, and I’m so glad that feeling was captured here.

IMG_7219

I’ve been eating really healthily this week, which I’m really proud of! Of course, nothing’s better than a fresh coconut cut straight from the tree.

IMG_7939 I’ve been drinking MateFit for almost a week now, and I’ve been seriously loving it so far! If you missed my post about this teatox, you can read all about it here.

IMG_7643 Another one of my favorite photos. I’m really into blurry photos lately. Perfect is boring, anyway

FullSizeRender copy 2 Screen Shot 2015-03-28 at 10.18.19 PM

I cleaned out my room this weekend and came across a giant box of old photos, so my task of cleaning my room turned into a 5-hour trip down memory lane. I love looking at old photos and reliving those memories. I’m so thankful that my parents took tons of photos when I was growing up.

IMG_7931

IMG_7929

Last, but certainly not least, I went to Target and bought some new things for my vanity! I’ve always wanted a gold vanity tray, but this colorful tray from Sonia Kashuk really called out to me and I had to buy it. I also picked up some new products, which I’m really excited to try out! If you’re interested in an updated makeup routine, or a favorite makeup blog post, let me know in the comments below! 

I hope you have a great Sunday!

Instagram Pinterest Twitter Facebook (Snapchat: @jasminekeclipse)

Journal Excerpts — Vol. I

Screen Shot 2015-03-26 at 10.11.16 PM

Hey guys, so I’m thinking about making this a weekly thing. I like sharing what goes through my mind in the deepest parts of the night, I like the obscurity of it all, and while it kind of defeats the purpose of keeping a “private” journal, I enjoy being completely transparent, at least with you guys. *Que mushy “awwww”* Yeah, yeah. Anyway, enjoy! (And happy Friday!)

 March 11

I have nothing but praise for my life. I’m not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. What I dread the most is isolation. There are so many beautiful things in the world.

March 14 – 5am

The sun has set and risen, and I’m still sitting here. The cool morning air kissed my cheeks good morning, and I’m patiently awaiting the sun to come up over the horizon to awaken my soul.

March 18

So there’s a boy… And I really like him. I feel really young and happy and wanted again. For the first time in forever, I feel truly triumphant. I’m just really happy.

March 19

When I think of you, I think of mornings. I think of your chest rising and falling beside me, and my fascination with its pattern. I think of the rainy January night we spent together, the night we begged the silence for any sign of a resolution to the unknown. You are a vessel of bones and hope, distinguished by well-spoken sentences. When I think of you, I think of mornings, the simplistic, innocent, yet terrifyingly beautiful awakening to a brand new beginning. A bright and welcoming new day.

March 23

Sometimes I lie awake at night and think about everything in my life. The good, the bad, and I weigh them against each other. I try to make my life out to be as bad as it could possibly be, I pick out all the negatives and dwell on how ugly I can make it seem. And then I do the same thing, but swap it all out for something positive, something lovely. I turn every flaw, unfortunate situation, and flip it into something extraordinary, an opportunity for growth and flourishing. I always opt for the latter, but it’s fun to view it from a darker perspective too sometimes.

March 25 

I’m finding out soon if I’m in remission, if the chemo worked, if the treatments are done, if I’m finally better. I find out soon if I’ve beat this. And I. Am. So. Nervous. Oh my god.

March 26

Do you feel it? Do you feel that longing, that pang in your chest? It’s me, across all these miles calling to you. It’s me searching for you. And god, if I could, I would shrink the miles between us. I would shrink the oceans, the trees, the lakes and rivers and the valleys. I would shrink it all if only it meant that I could reach out and touch you. Don’t you feel it? That restlessness? That lonely creep at 3 am? It’s me just needing you next to me. And when you look out over the water, know that I’m looking back at you. And when you can’t sleep at night and the sheets are cold, but you still find yourself reaching for me, know that I am reaching back. Please, know that everything in me is pulling me toward the everything that is you.

 

Have a bangin’ Friday!

Instagram Pinterest Facebook Twitter (Snapchat: @jasminekeclipse)

Joining the MateFit family!

Hey guys! So I was recently (well, like 3 weeks ago) contacted by a company called MateFit, and I decided to try out their tea! But it’s not just any tea. It’s a holistic, detox, cleansing tea that promotes healthy weight loss and complete body refining. I’ve seen this bad boy all over Instagram in the hands of models and other hot people who should totally pop the question already (AHEM, look at this guy and that hair! *heart eyes*)

Anyway, I received the 28 day ultimate teatox and this is what it looks like:

IMG_7876

It came with three bags of their Metabolic Boost, which you drink twice a day and two bags of the MateFit Detox, which you drink every other night. They also send you 100 tea bags, which is so useful because since I’m not an avid tea drinker (especially the loose leaf variety), I didn’t have tea bags on hand. And they send you 100… Like, really? Thanks tea gods. Lastly, you have the choice of buying one of their shaker bottles, which is not really necessary, but hey. I’m doing a damn detox, I deserve the freaking bottle. So I got the bottle. Plus, it’s really cute!

FullSizeRender

So, what exactly will I eat for the next month? One word: clean. What does that mean? Well, MateFit makes it super easy, and they give you meal ideas, eating guidelines and even workouts to try to maximize your cleanse!

The 3 main things to keep in check during the cleanse:

  • Getting enough sleep. I usually sleep for 8-10 hours, because I love my sleep and It’s just something I’m good at ;) But really, allow yourself to rest, you’re a hard-working human and you need to let your mind, body and soul recuperate, especially during a cleanse.
  • Exercising every day. Nothing crazy, just about 30 minutes each day. Make sure you get your heart rate up and you break a sweat. And remember: if you’re wanting to lose weight, you have to burn more calories than you intake. Easy peezy.
  • Eliminating toxic agents. Cut out all the foods that are full of preservatives and chemicals, and trade them in for clean, natural, raw foods that actually have something good to offer your body. Basically, cut the crap.

I’m super pumped to give this a whirl and see what all the fuss is about. I’ll be keeping you guys posted on my progress via my social channels linked below, this blog (obvi), and my Snapchat (Add me! @jasminekeclipse)

Follow along!

Twitter Instagram Facebook Pinterest

**This is a sponsored post, but all words and opinions are my own**

Humpday Playlist Pt. 9

Good morning! I’m in a really stellar mood, and I’ve been listening to lots of good, relaxing music lately. I made this new playlist for when I’m working, reading, or just not wanting to listen to crazy rap (I have a playlist for that too, though!). Anyway, this playlist will calm your nerves and soothe the soul. Well… at least I think so. Enjoy!

 

Goals for the week (Vol. 5)

weeklygoals

It’s time to lay out my weekly goals again! After my tiny, but needed, blogging hiatus, I realized just how much I rely on this space to keep me organized! Once I put my goals on paper (erm… on the blog), I feel like I’m held accountable to achieve them, which is a great thing.

Goals I achieved from my last post

  • I started reading more! I made the trip out to the only bookstore on Maui (it’s 40 miles away!) and bought some new books that I’ve been absolutely loving. I picked up The Desire Map, which I briefly talked about a little while ago, and I can’t put it down.
  • Got all my errands done! I’ve been quite busy lately, and that’s probably why I took a break from things I love to do (Which I don’t recommend, but sometimes you have no choice, you know?). I had to do boring things like pay bills, meet with people, send emails to business partners, and do lots of banking, etc. I’m thinking about doing another “Day in the Life” style posts that I’ve done in the past, so you guys can come along with me on my hectic days. Who knows, it could be fun!
  • Got my nails done. I miss my claws! Remember when I had super long, cat/witch nails? I miss them sometimes, but it is much easier and cheaper to live without them. I did get my pedicure though, and that’s always the best. I’ve also been doing my own fingernails at home, which I haven’t done since… I don’t know… 10 years ago. But it’s also kind of a stress reliever.

Goals for this week:

  • Detox. I have one week until my 6-week checkup with my doctor, where I’ll get more scans to make sure I’m doing okay since going off the meds and treating my disease naturally (semi-naturally, I’m still on some medications, just not as much!). So I really want to spend this week being clean and healthy as can be. This detox will be made much easier when I get a certain package in the mail! More on this will be posted this week ;)
  •  Bump up my workouts. I’ve been running (yes, Jasmine has been running) and I’ve been loving the results! I love the way I feel after a run, my legs are kind of numb/like jello, my muscles are tight, and it leaves me with the biggest smile on my face. I feel like I could take on the world after a workout. But I want more. So I want to bump up my workouts, increase the intensity, do something different. I live on a huge, steep hill (think San Francisco), so maybe I’ll try walking up and down those steep streets.
  • Discover new blogs/creators. I love when I stumble upon new bloggers/musicians/artists. But I haven’t done that in a while! The past time I really sat down and fell in love with other creators was probably in college. And that was almost a year ago! I really want to become inspired again. (If you know any awesome creators, link them below!)

How do you hold yourself accountable to achieve your goals?

 

I woke up

Screen Shot 2015-03-20 at 2.38.12 PM

I woke up this morning and I felt content. I woke up and I didn’t want to change a single thing about my place in the world, my footing with my family, the circle of friends I surround myself with, the choices I make throughout the day. I felt good about everything — the good and the bad. Everything just feels right. The anxiety that I’ve grown so accustomed to waking up to had subsided and gone astray. In fact, I woke up without a worry in the world. I didn’t feel the need to drown myself in worrying, in stressing out, in over-thinking until my head exploded. I just woke up, rolled out of bed and was happy with where I’m at in my life. I still have a desire to succeed, but it doesn’t rule my every waking thought, it’s not a stressor, it’s not all I want out of life — I’d rather explore, learn, love, be loved.

I was happy when I woke up at 5 a.m. because I love the job I drive an hour to every day. When I walk through the doors of my office building, it’s like all the hours, the stress, the money that I spent on college was worth it, because I have a job that I’m good at, a job that I love, a job that is getting me closer to reaching my goals. I woke up and I wasn’t upset that I don’t have the same people in my life that were there a year ago, two years ago, or even two weeks ago. I woke up and I realized that I only need the people in my recent calls list, the people who make a mutual effort to keep in touch. I woke up and didn’t feel the need to be in a relationship, or the emptiness of not being in one.  I woke up more in love with myself than I’d ever been before.

I woke up knowing that everything was going to be just fine. Sometimes life sucks, sometimes people suck, sometimes everything just sucks. But I know that without those terrible moments, we’d never truly know happiness. I woke up and I was thankful for all the crappy things. I woke up and finally accepted that good things take time, that if you really work at something, results will eventually show themselves to you and all the time spent will be worth it. I knew it was okay to sleep in a t-shirt and wear it to work the next day. It’s okay to be comfortable.

This morning I woke up and I was glad I was in Hawaii. I woke up happy that I’d given up on my dream of moving far away, I’m glad that I wasted thousands of dollars moving to China only to move back home two weeks later because it forced me to realize who I am as a person. I woke up and realized that I deserve more than to be the girl you treated like temporary convenience, there is more to me, and there is more to you.

I woke up this morning and realized I have everything I’ve ever wanted.